Best TV quotes of all time

Please vote as you browse around to help the best rise to the top.

Movie Quote Quiz
Courage the Cowardly Dog picture

Courage: There's something fishy goin' on here, or my name is Stinky Looloo, and thank goodness it's not.

More Courage the Cowardly Dog quotes
More The Thin Blue Line quotes
Dharma & Greg picture

Greg: You wanna have children?
Dharma: Yeah, unless you wanna have 'em.

More Dharma & Greg quotes
More Iron Man: Armored Adventures quotes
Dexter picture

Dexter: I am a father, a son, a serial killer.

More Dexter quotes
More Bates Motel quotes
The Young Ones picture

Summer Holiday - S2-E6

Mike: Where's Vyvyan?
Rik: Well, he said he was going inside to water his plant. Strange that such a ruthless and sadistic maniac as Vyvyan should care for a begonia. Must have had it two years now.
Mike: And it was dead when he got it.
Rik: Yes... Still, give him his credit - he's watered it every day!
Mike: Only because he can't be bothered to go upstairs to the lavatory.

More The Young Ones quotes
G.I. Joe picture

Destro: Premature panic is the sign of an immature mind.

More G.I. Joe quotes
Last Man Standing picture

Pilot - S1-E1

Mandy: Will you go pick up Travis, please?
Mike: You can pick him up.
Mandy: Really?
Mike: Yeah, if you can just figure out how to change a tire.
[Mandy starts to leave.]
Mike: So sad.
Mandy: I'm living with Lord Voldemort!
Mike: I don't know who that is, but he sounds like a very caring father.

Bowling255

More Last Man Standing quotes
Scooby-Doo, Where Are You! picture

Never Ape and Ape Man - S1-E7

Shaggy: Scooby-Snacks won't work on me this time.
Daphne: Would you do it for a Shaggy-Snack? A little something I whipped up.
Shaggy: Huh? A Shaggy-Snack?
Daphne: Yes, it's a pot-pie, with pizza crust, anchovies, pepperoni, cherries, all in a thick chocolate sauce.
Shaggy: Hahahaha! I'll do it! I'll do it!

Quantom X

More Scooby-Doo, Where Are You! quotes
The Legend of Korra picture

Night of a Thousand Stars - S2-E11

Korra: You have a battleship?
Varrick: Of course I do! I bought the first one they made! Named her the Zhu Li.
Bolin: You named your battleship after your assistant?
Varrick: Yep! They're both cold, heartless war machines.

More The Legend of Korra quotes
Hercules: The Legendary Journeys picture

Hercules: What are you doing here?
Iolaus: What do you mean?
Hercules: Iolaus, you're dead.
Iolaus: Yeah, well, I was kinda hoping you wouldn't notice.

More Hercules: The Legendary Journeys quotes
Miami Vice picture

Sonny Crockett: I get these occasional urges for stability in my life.

More Miami Vice quotes
More Magnum P.I. quotes
Lucifer picture

Dan: I don't know whether to laugh or to shoot you.
Lucifer: Surprise me.

More Lucifer quotes
Barney Miller picture

Detective Ron Harris: So What do you do for fun? Watch TV?
Amish Farmer: It's not in the bible.
Detective Ron Harris: Movies?
Amish Farmer: Not in the Bible.
Detective Ron Harris: Play cards? Gamble?
Amish Farmer: It's not in the Bible.
Detective Ron Harris: What DO you DO for fun?
Amish Farmer: Got 14 kids. THAT'S in the Bible.

More Barney Miller quotes
The Good Place picture

Michael: You humans take something wonderful and ruin it just a little bit so you can have more.

More The Good Place quotes
More X-Men quotes
More The Goodies quotes
Happy Days picture

The Fonz: You're dreaming about a girl you've never met?
Richie Cunningham: Come on, Fonz, haven't you ever dreamed?
The Fonz: Hey I'm not the dreamer! I'm the dreamee.

More Happy Days quotes

Join the mailing list

Separate from membership, this is to get updates about mistakes in recent releases. Addresses are not passed on to any third party, and are used solely for direct communication from this site. You can unsubscribe at any time.

Check out the mistake & trivia books, on Kindle and in paperback.