Pathologist: Some nights there's so much farting and belching in here, it's like being in a ballpark.
Jennifer: You were dead.
Doctor Evan Rendell: I'm not that good of a doctor.
Vince: It's been up there fifty years and it isn't even tarnished.
Bradlee: That's the beauty of gold. It never tarnishes. Lasts forever, too. You can twist it, pound it, even piss on it but it's always the same gold. It was here long before we were and it'll be here a long time after we're gone. I bet you a lot of men have died for the gold that's just in this one piece.
Sidney Deane: Can anybody step in for this guy? Anybody? For Mr. Motherfucking March of Dimes?
Gabe: That's a picture of my mum. Isn't she beautiful? Everyone says I look like her. I'm not saying I'm good looking, I'm not saying that, but we do look alike. She's dead now. Was a car accident. She had her head chopped off. I think it's good to be able to talk about these things without cracking up, you know. Besides I know she's still with me somehow. I think that when I have kids, she will be one of them, sort of reincarnated.
Peter Hoskins: Je hebt erg witte tanden.
Hagenstern: Should I deactivate the sea swine, sir?
Leslie Zevo: A sea swine? Oh, yes, you deactivate the goddamn sea swine.
Montoya Santana: Whatever I did to you or to mama... to make you hate me, I'm sorry.
Pedro Santana: Your mother was a beautiful woman. She made me feel proud. She was 19 years old. Raped... by sailors. After it happened, we never talked about it. Then we got married and we tried to forget. When you were born, I tried to love you. But every time I looked at you, I wondered who your real father was. I wondered which sailor's blood you carried inside of you.
Paul Maclean: Hello, Jess.
Jessie Burns: Hey, Paul.
Paul Maclean: How's your brother?
Jessie Burns: You both left him alone.
Paul Maclean: Well, I'm sorry about that. That was my fault.
Jessie Burns: Well, you're not forgiven.
Paul Maclean: Was Norman forgiven?
Jessie Burns: Norman's not funny.
Mahi Mahi: Chief Orman have pretty big influence around here.
Jack Singer: Influence? He lives in a shack.
Captain Soames: What?
Sheriff Ira: Cold Draft.
Captain Soames: Could you use one right now?
Zuzu Bailey: Look, Daddy! Every time you hear a bell, a zombie takes a soul to hell.
David Green: You never told me what religion you are.
Chris Reese: I'm a Methodist.
David Green: A Methodist. And all this time I didn't know it.
Older Mike: History is all in the mind of the teller. Truth is all in the telling.
Lane Bodine: I've never met anyone like you... you're honest, even when you lie.
Columbus: Why do you want to help me?
Santangel: Faith, hope, charity. But greater than all these is banking.
Father Francis McKeen: The devil has gotten inside you, Jobe.
Jack Kelson: Keep my name outta your mouth.