Jack Sparrow: I have no sympathy for any of you feculent maggots and no more patience to pretend otherwise. Gentlemen, I wash my hand of this weirdness.
Homer Simpson: Marge, in every marriage you get one chance to say, "I need you to do this with me." And there's only one answer when somebody says that.
Marge Simpson: OK Homie, I'm with ya.
Homer: Thank you my sweetheart.
Bart Simpson: Mom?
Marge: Yes honey?
Bart: You just bought another load of crap from the world's fattest fertiliser salesman!
Venom: You come in here again, in fact, you go anywhere in this city preying on innocent people and we will find you and eat both your arms and then both of your legs and then we will eat your face right off your head. Do you understand?
Robber: Please.
Venom: Yes. So, you will be this armless, legless, faceless thing, won't you? Rolling down the street, like a turd in the wind. Do you feel me?
Robber: What the hell are you?
[Venom's face partially opens to reveal Eddie's face]
Eddie/Venom: We...are Venom.
[Venom's face fully reforms]
Venom: On second thought.
Robber: Please.
[Venom kills the robber].
Louden Swain: But all I ever settled for is that we're born to live and then to die, and... we got to do it alone, each in his own way. And I guess that's why we got to love those people who deserve it like there's no tomorrow. 'Cause when you get right down to it - there isn't.
Martha McCandles: This is going to be a very harsh and unpleasant business, and will take an equally harsh and unpleasant person to see to it.
Michael: My father is no different than any powerful man, any man with power, like a president or senator.
Kay Adams: Do you know how naive you sound, Michael? Presidents and senators don't have men killed.
Michael: Oh. Who's being naive, Kay?
Gunderson: He's all over the place! Nine hundred feet up to 1300 feet. What an asshole!
Jimmy: Hey, Ted, where the hell is the corkscrew?
[Jason appears and shoves the corkscrew into Jimmy's hand]
Doctor Flamond: You see, a year ago, I was close to perfecting the first magnetic desalinization process so revolutionary, it was capable of removing the salt from over 500 million gallons of seawater a day. Do you realize what that could mean to the starving nations of the earth?
Nick Rivers: Wow. They'd have enough salt to last forever.
Principal Mcgee: If you play an instrument, remember, it is better to play with a group then with yourself.
Sidney Prescott: You sicks fucks have seen too many movies!
Billy Loomis: Sid, don't blame the movies. The movies don't create psychos, movies make psychos more creative.
Ford Fairlane: 1969 Fender Stratocaster, original pick-ups, maple neck, strung upside down for a left-handed motherfucking genius, Jimi Hendrix.
Jack Walsh: Here come two words for you: shut the fuck up.
Sam Sweet: [911 call being played.] Oh my God! Oh my God! My twin brother has been shot! I think it was an Asian gang or something... There was this guy, he looked Asian... And he was speaking another language, I'm pretty sure it was... Asian.
Dean Wormer: Fat, drunk and stupid is no way to go through life.
Sgt. Burton: There's a bullet out there for everyone. Their name's written real small on the side... and it's coming.
Chad Danforth: Have you ever seen Michael Crawford on a cereal box?
Troy Bolton: Who's Michael Crawford?
Chad Danforth: Exactly my point! He was the Phantom of the Opera on Broadway. Now, my mom, she's seen that musical 27 times and she put Michael Crawford's picture in our refrigerator. Not on it, in it. So, my point is if you play basketball, you're gonna end up on a cereal box. If you sing in musicals, you're gonna end up in my mom's refrigerator.
Troy Bolton: Why would she put his picture in her refrigerator?
Chad Danforth: One of her crazy diet ideas! Look, I don't have time to understand the female mind, Troy!
Gen. Glen McMahon: God damn it, Pete. Why are you fat?