Paul Blart: Safety never takes a holiday.
Tiffany: I was a slut. There will always be a part of me that is dirty and sloppy, but I like that, just like all the other parts of myself. I can forgive. Can you say the same for yourself, fucker? Can you forgive? Are you capable of that?
Smokey: I got mind control over Debo. When say shut up, I be quiet, but when he leave, I be talkin' again.
Deb: What are you drawing?
Napoleon Dynamite: A liger.
Deb: What's a liger?
Napoleon Dynamite: It's pretty much my favorite animal. It's like a lion and a tiger mixed... Bred for its skills in magic.
Truly Scrumptious: Well, Mr. Potts!
Caractacus Pott: What's wrong?
Truly Scrumptious: Now you'll have to marry me!
Hitchhiker: Thanks for the ride, lady.
Hitch: I just know that I want to be... Miserable. Like, *really* miserable. But hey, if that's what it takes for me to be happy, then... Wait, that didn't come out right.
Ron Burgundy: Last time I looked in the dictionary, my name's Ron Burgundy. What's your name?
Brian Fantana: Brian Fantana.
Champ Kind: Champ Kind.
Brick Tamland: Brian Fantana.
Brian Fantana: No, you're Brick.
Brick Tamland: Brian.
Brian Fantana: I'm Brian.
Brick Tamland: Veronica.
Vitruvius: The Special has arisen.
Gandalf: Have the young man step forward.
Vitruvius: As you wish, Dubbledore.
Gandalf: I'm Gandalf!
Dumbledore: It's pronounced Dumbledore.
Vitruvius: Dubbledore?
Dumbledore: No, Dumbledore.
Vitruvius: I thought you said Dubbledore.
Gandalf: Vetruvius!
Vitruvius: Ah, we gotta write all that down 'cause I'm not gonna remember any of it, but here we go. The Special will now give an eloquent speech.
Olaf: I can't feel my legs! I can't feel my legs!
Kristoff: Those are my legs.
Dr. Phil: What is wrong with you? Why do you feel the need that you gotta "get" somebody all the time?
Madea: Well when you gettin' "got" and somebody done "got" you and you go "get" them, when you get 'em everybody's gon' get got.
Dr. Phil: Yeah but you're gettin' the gotters when they didn't do anything to even get you.
Madea: Yeah but if the gotters get me I'm gonna get my glock.
Walter Mitty: To see the world, things dangerous to come to, to see behind walls, draw closer, to find each other, and to feel. That is the purpose of life.
Astrid Young Teo: It was never my job to make you feel like a man. I can't make you something you're not.
DS Andy Wainwright: You do know there are more guns in the country than there are in the city.
DS Andy Cartwright: Everyone and their mums is packin' round here!
Nicholas Angel: Like who?
DS Andy Wainwright: Farmers.
Nicholas Angel: Who else?
DS Andy Cartwright: Farmers' mums.
Frank Pesce Jr.: I wanna do something I never did before.
Frank Pesce Sr.: Oh really, then why don't you go upstairs and clean your fucking room.
Arnie: A little flirtation is harmless but you're dealing with fire here. The fidelity bank and trust is a tough creditor. You make a deposit somewhere else, they close your account - forever.
Narrator: Now if there's one thing you can be sure of, it's that nothing is more powerful than a young boy's wish. Except an Apache helicopter. An Apache helicopter has machine guns AND missiles. It is an unbelievably impressive complement of weaponry, an absolute death machine.
[Columbus sprays Tallahassee with perfume.]
Tallahassee: It's ok. But FYI, I beat wholesale ass for a lot less than that.